Baltan Pincerhands
History An elderly woman tells her granddaughter a bedtime story of where snow comes from, by telling her the story of a young alien named Baltan who has pincers for hands. As the creation of an old Inventor, Baltan was a alien-like boy who was in the penultimate stage of work. The Inventor homeschooled Baltan, but suffered a fatal heart attack and died just as he was about to fasten hands on Baltan. Some years later, Alien Pit, a local Avon door-to-door saleswoman, visits the decrepit Gothic mansion on the hill where a teenaged Baltan lives. She finds Baltan alone, and though he is initially startled, Pit offers to take him to her home when she realizes he is virtually harmless. Peg introduces Baltan to her family: her husband Alien Bat, their young son Zetton II, and their teenage daughter Cicada Women. They are initially fearful of Baltan but come to see him as a kind person and allow him to stay. The Alien's neighbors are all curious to their new house guest, and the Alien's decided to throw a neighborhood barbecue to welcome Baltan. There, most of the neighbors are fascinated by Baltan and befriend him, except for the eccentric religious fanatic Kemur Woman and Cicada's boyfriend Yapool. After the barbecue, Edward repays the neighborhood for their kindness by trimming their hedges into beautiful topiaries. This incidentally leads him to discovering he can craft-fully trim and style dogs' hair, and later as a hair stylist for many of the neighborhood alien women. One of the neighbors, Zogu, suggests that she can help Baltan open a hair salon and charge money for his unique talent. While scouting for a location, Zogu attempts to seduce him, leaving Baltan scared, though Joyce tells the other neighborhood women that he attempted to seduce her, affecting their trust of him. The bank refuses to give Baltan a loan for the salon, having no background or financial history. Yapool, jealous of Cicada's growing attraction to Baltan, suggests Baltan help pick the lock on his parents' home to acquire a van for himself and Cicada. Baltan agrees, but when he picks the lock, the burgular alarm goes offer, and Yapool flees, leaving Baltan to be caught by the Ultra Crusaders. The Ultra Crusaders find through psychological examination that his period of isolation has left him with no sense of reality or common sense. Edward takes full responsibility for the robbery, telling a surprised Cicada he did it because she asked him to. Baltan is shunned by the rest of the neighborhood except for the Aliens. During the Christmas holiday, Baltan carves an angelic ice sculpture modeled after Cicada, the ice shavings being thrown into the air and falling like snow, a rarity in this area. Cicada dances in the snowfall. Yapool arrives and calls out to Baltan, which surprises him and he accidentally cuts Cicada's hand. Yapool accuses Baltan of intentionally harming Cicada, but Cicada, fed up with Yapool's jealously, tells him she is breaking up with him. Baltan runs off during the argument in a fit of rage, destroying some of his works until he is calmed down by a stray dog. Meanwhile, Cicada tells her parents what happened, and they set out to try to find Baltan. Baltan returns to the Aliens home to find Cicada and Zetton II there. Cicada tries to apologize for Yapool's behavior and asks him to hold her, but Baltan is afraid he will hurt her again. Yapool returns in a drunked rage, and nearly runs over Zetton II with a truck, but Baltan pushes Zetton II to safety, though also inadvertently scratches him. Yapool encourages those witnessing the event that Baltan is attacking Zetton II, and he tries to attack Baltan. Baltan defends himself, cutting Yapool's arm, and then flees to the mansion when the police arrive. Cicada races after Baltan, while Yapool obtains a laser blaster and follows Cicada. In the mansion, Yapool corners Baltan and fights him; Baltan refuses to fight back until Yapool slaps Cicada when she attempts to intervene. Enraged, Baltan stabs Yapool in the stomach and throws him out a high window, killing him. Cicada confesses her love to Baltan, giving him a kiss, before she departs. As the Ultra Crusaders and neighbors gather at the mansion, Cicada states that both Yapool and Baltan fought and fell to their deaths, and brandishes one of the spare pincers as proof of Baltan's death. The neighbors return home. The elderly alien finishes telling her granddaughter the story, revealing that she is Cicada and saying that she never saw Baltan again. She chose not to visit him because decades have passed and she wanted him to remember her the way she was in her youth. She believes that Baltan is still alive, immortal because he is artificial, and because of the winter "snow" that Baltan creates by carving ice sculptures that scatter shavings over the neighborhood. The movie finishes with Cicada saying "sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it". Trivia * Baltan pincerhands is a parody of the Tim Burton movie Edward scissorhands; ** And with most of the characterers being swapped by aliens from the Ultraman franchise. Category:Parodies Category:Fanfiction Category:Ultraman Category:BRK's Stories